We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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