its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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