It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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