my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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