My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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