it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
