Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
