I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
