his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
