I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
