3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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