how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
