dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
