Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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