I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
