Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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