I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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