Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
