you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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