Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
