Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Green mimosas i think yes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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