I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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