You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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