I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
