The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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