I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
