Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
