'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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