No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
