the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
