I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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