I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
