In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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