Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
