You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
