and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Too much gin, very little bucket
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
