I forgot how hot balto sounded
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
