I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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