take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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