You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
