I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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