I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
