Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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