Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
