We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
