Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
