my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
