Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
