That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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