Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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